Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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