The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
