Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize