This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize