Plan B is the new Plan A
i would punch a child for taco bell
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
