its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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