She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I want to have your abortion
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
