I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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