i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
