My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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