whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
