i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
