so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
