So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You've changed since you got that strap on
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
