sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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