I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do vagina's smell?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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