i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
