my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
