Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Randomize
