you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
