What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
