Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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