Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
