Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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