"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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