I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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