i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
