whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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