Porn is love you can see.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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