I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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