I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
