He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
