I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
