I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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