I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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