That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
