Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
