Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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