I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
