I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
either way he was missing a nipple.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
