Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
