dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
