I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
