Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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