Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
