Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
