he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
