i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Boobs speak an international language.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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