you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
