I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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