Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
