i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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