no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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