Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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