The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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