You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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