It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
