There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My cat gives me a boner
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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