Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
