I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
